10 For a Happy Marriage

Good Morning! I am SO excited to have Dajana here today to share her tips for a Happy Marriage! I had actually seen this post on Dajana's blog back in June (when they celebrated 10 happy years of marriage) and loved her post so much, I asked if she would be willing to share it with my readers! 

Hi First Time Fancy’ers! I’m Dajana from all kinds of lovely and I’m so happy (& beyond excited) to be guest posting while Kerry gets ready to marry the love of her life. What an exciting time it is for her, B and sweet little Halle!

Marriage is definitely an adventure that takes a lot of work. But, it’s worth it. I know this from firsthand experience because my husband Scott and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in June.

Although we’re far from being experts, I’d like to share the 10 things we’ve learned over the  past decade that have helped us to stay married and happy (we worked on this list together in between periods during the Stanley Cup playoffs):

1. Make your marriage THE priority

Don't let other things get in the way. I'm Scott's best friend and he's mine. Period. Our marriage is the centre of our lives and we regularly check in with each other to see if the other person is feeling loved, needed and most importantly, heard.

2. Hold hands and kiss often

There's something to be said for the spontaneous make out. Even after ten years there's nothing quite like when Scott plops a big one on me (:

3. Explore new things together

We’ve taken a couples massage class, ziplined in Costa Rica. It’s important to grow together, to push your boundaries and to move out of your comfort zone as a couple. Stagnation is never good. The adrenaline rush you get from trying these kinds of things doesn’t hurt either.

4. Go on walks

Scott and I walk Lucy, our chocolate lab, every night and we make sure to leave our phones at home. This is our time to chat about our day, make plans for the future and sometimes even gossip (him more than me). It's uninterrupted “us” time and our favourite way to chill together. 

5. Be silly together

We have fun every single day and we’re always trying to making each other laugh. This often involves trying out dance moves we've seen on "So You Think You Can Dance" and/or singing Rihanna songs in an operatic style (okay, the Rihanna stuff is all me). It also helps that we both have the same goofy sense of humour.

6. Take turns making dinner

Shortly after we were married, I found myself at Superstore on a Sunday night shopping for groceries for the coming week. I was tired, grumpy and beyond annoyed. I called Scott and told him I was done with being the sole grocery buyer and meal planner. From then on, we shared dinner duties. Another good lesson here: ask for what you need. Your partner is not a mind reader.

7. The little things do matter

I can’t tell you how much it means to me to get an “I love you” text from Scott in the middle of a busy work day.  And vice versa.  Surprises involving baked goods and Starbucks chai lattes are super popular in our house, too. We also like to leave each other love notes on our kitchen chalkboard. Those are the best. 

8. Keep the television out of the bedroom

Our bedroom is home to the trifecta - sleeping, reading and sex’ing. That's it. And while we’re on the topic of television, invest in a PVR, if you haven’t already. This is the best marriage keeper out there. Thanks to the pause button, I can provide ongoing commentary during a hockey game without fear of death.

9. Show your appreciation

Say “please” and "thank you" often and mean it. Don’t limit being polite to strangers and co-workers. Your partner deserves (and needs) to hear those words from you, too.

10. Learn to compromise

A successful marriage requires selflessness. Ask yourself, “Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?” Happy wins. Almost always (;

After 10 years of marriage, this is what has contributed to the success of ours and helped us to stay connected and content. I'd love to hear what's working for you!

While you mull that over, I'd like to thank Kerry a million times over for having me. I wish nothing but the best for you and B as you begin your own adventures in marriage. Here's to your love!

Thank you SO MUCH Dajana! B and I agree with these fabulous tips, and we try every day to live each and every one of these!